Are You Pushing Too Hard? Pointers To Gently Encourage Someone

by | Apr 15, 2019 | Encouragement

We all need someone to help motivate and put us on the path to achieving our goals. For this reason it is a worthy pursuit to being a more positive influence to the people around you. To be constantly mindful of your actions so you become an encouraging force to others is certainly a commendable effort. This trait makes you a better friend, family member or colleague. Your encouraging ways can even be life-changing to a mere acquaintance.

However, there is a thin line between motivating and pressuring an individual. Even if you mean well, taking a more aggressive approach can further discourage or dishearten someone you are trying to help. So how do you strike just the right balance in order to help others without sounding demanding or annoying? The following pointers can help!

Check your intentions.

If you want to help someone reach his or her full potential, finding your “why” and self reflecting is one of the first things you have to do. Why do you want to push someone to greatness? Is it because you genuinely care about helping others or are you doing it for your own gains? To motivate and mentor someone, it should be because you truly believe in their skills and talents. If you do it to earn rewards or recognitions for yourself later on, you will likely impose unrealistic expectations.

Let the person you are helping make decisions.

You may be certain that the person whom you are trying to help needs to take a certain extra class to boost their skills. However you cannot just sign them up for lessons without asking their opinions or permission. Most of the time, all you have to do is offer suggestions and then let them decide if they are willing to go with it. They may accept or decline, but either way, you have to respect their decision. You cannot expect to see the results you want if you insist and force your plans and ideas on them. A better approach is  to show them a list of options and then let them choose what piques their interest.

Do not criticize.

To bring out the greatness within an individual, you have to build up their confidence. You want them to discover their worth and everything they are capable of. It will be hard to do this if you constantly point out their mistakes and failures. You will get better results if you focus on their efforts and achievements instead. To avoid repeating mistakes, it will help if you discuss what went wrong without resorting to blaming or shaming. As you work together to think of solutions, you help teach them skills in beating odds and the importance of being resilient.

Assess situations carefully.

Your journey can be challenging and you may notice times when an individual will lose interest or appear exhausted. To be an effective motivator, you must know the right way to deal with these situations. You can either push an individual further or allow them to take a needed break. Varying circumstances call for different actions but it all depends on how well you know the individual. Carefully consider the suggestions you give so it works to the best interest of the individual.

Once you decide to help someone achieve success, you commit to be with them every step of the way on their journey. Just remember that your role as a motivator and mentor has limits. As much as you want to propel someone towards excellence, it won’t happen if that person doesn’t share your vision. Realize that you can offer support, but you cannot impose or dictate things for others.